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Monday 25 November 2013

Adding detail to sentences


Add detail To  sentences



It was so cool that Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course.


Mr Jacobsen Was caring and nice and he was our coach on the confidence course.


Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the Terrifying scary course



When I heard that we were going sailing I was nervous about sailing on camp.


I was nervous and i began shaking about sailing on camp.


I was nervous about sailing on the plastic rocking  boat on camp.




After looking up at the terrifying wall we went abseiling.


We went on a big hill to abseiling.


we went abseiling and I was very scared  





Friday 1 November 2013

The Accident

Mum dad and jack went to see the cow’s and the sheep.”Can i milk the cows for you” said jack.”Yes you can thanks for your help jack”so jack started his job milking the cow’s.”This is a fun job to do”.


“Jack” said mum “time for dinner” “coming” said jack so dad mum and jack started eating dinner. When jack was finished his dinner he put his plate on the bench.
He went to the garage and grabbed his four wheeler bike.


He rid his four wheeler bike up and down the hills until his mum said “jack time for bed”“ohhh but i don’t want to go to bed just one more minute”. “Okay one more minute” so up and down up and down. Than mum said “jack time for bed”.


“Coming” so jack went to put his four wheeler bike back in the shed and went inside to go bed. When it was the morning jack ask mum if he can ride his four wheeler bike.With his friends and mum said yes but you have to milk the cow’s “okay”.


So off he went to milk the cow’s by the time jack’s friends came he was finished milking the cow’s. So jack went to the shed and grabbed his four wheeler bike and his friends look at it.They were so jealous because he had a flash bike.


So jack said “by mum by dad” and off he went with his friends they went to the park and then they went down this long steep hill. They were going so fast that jack fell off and the bike  fell on him and his friend max went to call the ambulance.  The ambulance came and jack was so sore the ambulance push the four wheeler off him. Jack had to go to the hospital and his mum and dad came and said are you alright my son.He said don’t that much.



When jack came out off the hospital he was feeling much more better.